Back to work I go…

My maternity leave and 13 weeks of staying home with my precious baby have come to an end. I am one of the lucky people that can afford to take off this much time and that I work for a company that provides maternity leave.  I really cannot imagine going back any earlier.  We really really need to look at maternity/ paternity leave laws in the US!!  I never realized before I had a baby but now I do. It needs to change, babies really do need their Mothers.

I have tried to put the thought off as long as possible that my time at home is up, but the reality is next Monday I will be heading into the office instead of snuggling my sweet boy. It is hard to explain to anyone who is not a Mom what this feels like. Half of me is excited about getting back in a routine and being among other adults but the other part of me feels like it is breaking in half.  As a first time Mom I can’t help but wonder what he is going to be doing all day and worry about him at daycare.  I also can’t imagine missing all the little things he discovers and the new skills he develops every day. My heart breaks knowing I will have to. I know he is in good hands but is there anyone that is more equipped at raising my child than me? This is a question I find myself asking often.  I know he will be with other babies and socialize and they will teach him all sorts of things I would never be able to, but as a Mom I just want to protect my baby and keep him close…. with me! I have had so many women reach out and tell me that the first few weeks are the hardest and it will get easier.  I think the anticipation is killing me and I am sure once I’m back it will get better.

In addition to the stress of missing my baby, I’m going to try hold off on introducing him to formula as long as possible. In other words… I’m going to navigate the challenge of pumping at work.  Now, I’m not sure how long this is going to last being in the office but my work does have a designated room and many other working Moms do it.  I’m just not sure how realistic it is with my schedule.  I do have this Mom guilt that I should continue because he is so much more prone to getting sick without it and daycare is full of germs. I guess only time will tell if I survive this or not.

I would love to hear from other Mom’s on how it was going back to work and how you adjusted. Feel free to send any positive vibes my way, I am going to need them come Monday.



8 thoughts on “Back to work I go…

  1. I feel for you! I too just went through this 3 weeks ago with my little boy and the thought of leaving him with someone else gave me anxiety and serious Mom guilt. I totally agree maternity leave in the US really needs re-evaluated! I could not imagine going back to work after only 6 weeks and was lucky to take the full 12 weeks as well but everything after 6 was unpaid! Once I returned to work my stomach was upset for a couple days but we managed and are now in a pretty good routine. There is a law in place that protects nursing mothers in the workplace. They have to allow you as much time as you need to pump, so I pump during my son’s typical feeding times so my body still thinks I’m nursing during those times.

    Get Medela breast milk wipes they’re a life saver! A hands free pumping bra helps out a lot too as well as a bottle bag you can store your milk in. Check out the book, Work Pump Repeat. The author also has tips on her website so you don’t need the book really. Good luck momma! It was more the anxiety and guilt leading up to returning that was worse for me than actually going back (not that going back still wasn’t difficult).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had to go back to work after having my baby. He was so little I cried every day all the way to work and all the way home to get him. If I came to get him and he had a dirty diaper or was in the same place I left him I wouldn’t take him back to that sitter. I went thru 8 babysitters in 3 months! Finally I just quit and stayed home until he was 2. Best thing I ever did. After that my savings ran out and didn’t let me stay home any longer. My husband and I divorced and my son was so little. . I got no help from the baby’s father ( long story). It was never easy. When they get older and you are there when they get home from school you get lots of good information about what happened in class. If you ask when you get home from work they say nothing happened. So hard. It’s also hard because you need a life outside the baby but he is growing so fast. 👀 given a choice I would ha e worked part time. We all step up to the plate and do what we have to do. You have a great support system (which I didn’t have) I think he will know he is loved and that after all is most important.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh, pumping at work! I also recently just went back to work from maternity leave and I work in a school building, so finding a place in the school building where there are no teachers and/or kids is quite difficult. I get nervous every time that I pump that a student is going to walk in on my pumping session! 😳
    At least you have a designated room, that has to be very nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m currently expecting my first little baby, and I haven’t been at my job for a year yet, so I will be taking 2 weeks of vacation, 1 week of vacation that I pay for throughout the year, the remainder of my sick time, and 2 weeks of short-term disability which will put me at almost 7 weeks. 😦 Not looking forward to the end of that, for sure. I know I’ll wish I had more time.


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