My maternity leave and 13 weeks of staying home with my precious baby have come to an end. I am one of the lucky people that can afford to take off this much time and that I work for a company that provides maternity leave. I really cannot imagine going back any earlier. We really really need to look at maternity/ paternity leave laws in the US!! I never realized before I had a baby but now I do. It needs to change, babies really do need their Mothers.
I have tried to put the thought off as long as possible that my time at home is up, but the reality is next Monday I will be heading into the office instead of snuggling my sweet boy. It is hard to explain to anyone who is not a Mom what this feels like. Half of me is excited about getting back in a routine and being among other adults but the other part of me feels like it is breaking in half. As a first time Mom I can’t help but wonder what he is going to be doing all day and worry about him at daycare. I also can’t imagine missing all the little things he discovers and the new skills he develops every day. My heart breaks knowing I will have to. I know he is in good hands but is there anyone that is more equipped at raising my child than me? This is a question I find myself asking often. I know he will be with other babies and socialize and they will teach him all sorts of things I would never be able to, but as a Mom I just want to protect my baby and keep him close…. with me! I have had so many women reach out and tell me that the first few weeks are the hardest and it will get easier. I think the anticipation is killing me and I am sure once I’m back it will get better.
In addition to the stress of missing my baby, I’m going to try hold off on introducing him to formula as long as possible. In other words… I’m going to navigate the challenge of pumping at work. Now, I’m not sure how long this is going to last being in the office but my work does have a designated room and many other working Moms do it. I’m just not sure how realistic it is with my schedule. I do have this Mom guilt that I should continue because he is so much more prone to getting sick without it and daycare is full of germs. I guess only time will tell if I survive this or not.
I would love to hear from other Mom’s on how it was going back to work and how you adjusted. Feel free to send any positive vibes my way, I am going to need them come Monday.